Walking!

I can't believe it! L is walking. She was always very steady on her feet, and when she started standing she stood solid. She could go up and down and squat. Now she is off, and she loves it! She loves getting the yays and hugs. Where did my baby go?!

Happy Birthday!

My sweet sweet girls,

I love you more than I could ever explain. You grew inside me and I knew the instant I saw the two little pink lines on that stick that you were mine and that you would be perfect. I remember feeling you wiggle inside of me and the little rythmic bumps against my pelvis when you got the hiccups.

I waited, holding my breath, begging God to hear your cries before Dr. S pulled you out. How proud your daddy was of you both. I've never seen him smile so much. We held you and cried. You both have been a challenge but I know your dad and I think you are the best thing that ever happened to us. Your little smiles and the laughs, the ones that start in your belly and make you wiggle and shriek in delight. They bring joy to my heart and make me feel like I am doing everything right. The silly Popeye faces you make and the little adventures that you find- climbing and opening drawers. I love being able to see life from your little eyes. I love that you miss me when I'm gone because I miss you so much too. I love singing songs at the top of our lungs in the car (which is mostly me but you both like to sing along too). I love hearing you wake up in the morning and talk to each other.

Always know that you have made my life better just by being here. I will always love you both, no matter what.
Happy Birthday sweet girls.

Love you,

Mama

Summer break

Well I took a little break (it was supposed to be little). This was mostly just supposed to happen while we were at the beach. My aunt and uncle don't have much of an internet connection. Well then I was out of the habit so well you know what happened.


I'm back at work and teaching creative writing and yearbook. I am only part time, yay! It is weird to leave everyday at 11:30. I have lots of updates to share and I do a lot of writing with my students so hopefully I will be posting more.

Upcoming posts will hopefully include: a summer recap (with super cute beach pics), a one year photo session, birthday letters and pictures, pics of my freshly designed house!, plus some other things that have been on my mind lately! So to entice you to come back here is a sneak peak of the girls birthday pics.

portraits were taken at Portrait Innovations.

I pink puffy heart Target

Ok I'm obsessed with Target, always have been (and no they do not pay me, but Target feel free to send me an email about that at any time). In one of our apartments we lived across the street from Target, no joke. It was like heaven. In our current house I could probably walk to Target if I really wanted to, but having twins makes you really tired.


So ever since we found out we were pregnant with the girls I've kind of been the queen of finding deals, well other than my mother in law. She's pretty good too. I cut coupons, I love outlets (I bought 3 outfits for me, my husband and the girls for under $200 at the Gap Outlet. I also love them. I put the wrong address on an internet order and they resent me all the clothes no cost to me. They rock. Again Gap feel free to email me about advertisements :-), I shop the sales racks and read the ads in the newspaper and get the emails about coupons.



Anyway, the point of all this: I've found some awesome deals lately I just had to share. Since most stores are currently shifting their inventory to fall stuff all the summer stuff is on sale. So I've been searching the sales racks, and look at what I found:

I got even more than this. Like I have two of the pink dresses and the pink elephant top with the brown shorts, I have two of those. Any way everything was under $4 (like the entire outfits were). Most of this came from Target, a few of the shorts are from Gymboree. All from the sales racks, and everything is for next year so hopefully the girls will be in 24 months by then. If not oh well, because the black shorts and two tank tops cost 75 cents, the two graphic t-shirts were $1, the dress was less then $3 (and a dress should fit). I love the black and white outfit! I think it is 2T though. Keep your fingers crossed for me! I love a good bargin :-)

The Crap You Need on Hand for Child Rearing

I know a lot of people who are currently pregnant or brand new parents. So I have decided to put together a list of must haves for new parents.

1. A screw driver
Seriously everything the baby needs has to be put together. J and I got in more fights cusing over how to put together the crib then we did in our first year of marriage (which they say is the hardest which is total crap. The hardest year on a marriage is the first year of your first child's life. A if you were wondering our marriage has survived- at least so far, I don't think J is ready to move out yet :-) You need a freaking screw driver just to put new batteries in the swing, which sucks when the swing is the only thing that will get your child to take a nap and it dies and you have to leave the screaming baby to run downstairs and dig the screw driver out of your husband's tool box. Then you have to dig the batteries out of the drawer in the kitchen or maybe they are in the tool box too. All the while the baby is screaming.

2. Batteries
We had the worst snow storms ever this year and in Virginia when you are supposed to get a blizzard people freak the F out. They run and buy toilet paper and milk and eggs. I ran to the grocery store and stood in line for hours to get none of those (they were already out) not diapers or formula but batteries because god forbid that we ran out of batteries. You need them for everything. Every toy, the swing, the bouncy chair, everything. We took batteries out of remotes even, and if you knew J that is a big freaking deal.

3. Ear plugs
At around 5 every day the baby will most likely scream it's head off for no reason. It's a scientific fact. Mommy's even have a special name for it- the witching hour. These will also come in handy when your child is old enough to do cry it out, if you so choose- we did. It's the only way S would go to sleep, sue us. A tv and bad reality shows also work, just crank it up- in the basement, two floors below your screaming child (only if they are safely in their crib :-) although I do know a mom that took her not yet moving on their own child down to the basement and let him sleep on the floor on a blanket with no monitor because it was the only way he and everyone else in their house would sleep- I say do what you have to, so long as the child is safe. (promise it wasn't me)

4. baby jail, or a playpen
Because really sometimes mommy just has to pee.

5. card board box
When they are old enough this will provide limitless amounts of entertainment. We have every toy available for children under 12 months and some sort of card board container (including a 6 pack beer holder) is way more entertaining then the $20 music table.


I'm sure I will have more of these fantastic tidbits as my girls continue to educate me in all that is toddlerness.

10.5 months

Dear Girlies,
I love you so much. It has been such a blast being able to stay home with you this last month. At the same time I am sad to think we only have a month until school starts again I am also a little glad because you two are exhausting. Now that you both crawl you are everywhere! You also love to fight! L you cry any time your sister comes near you and S you love to smack your sister and pull her hair. I think you are just trying to play but she doesn't like it! It is so much fun watching you learn and discover new things. You both love to crazy shake- which means waving your arms and laughing, you both do so big (S is better at it right now), you both wave but it is L's better trick. You also are figuring out how to high five and love to clap when we say Yay. You are too cute and I love smothering you in kisses. Your daddy said today that he couldn't believe you are almost a year. It has gove by so quickly.

Love you lots,
Mommy

L eating a french frie off Grandma's plate at Cheesecake Factory. They were really nice and brought out a plate of bread and bananas for the girls. We love eating out! L also likes a lot of the foods her daddy likes- Watermelon, french fries and pickles (she doesn't eat a lot of french fries I promise!)

S chillin in her stroller with her sun glasses and a stolen hanger from Gymboree (we returned the hanger). Grandma and I bought her the sun glasses after she pitched a fit when we tried to take them away from her. Both girls like shopping until we take too long in a store.

Tubes

Monday the girls got their first set of tubes in their ears (well first and hopefully last!). They've had quite the string of ear infections, S- 7 since March (including the one she had when they put the tubes in) and L- 5 since March. J and I both had our adenoids removed and tubes, I also had my tonsils out and J had a total of 3 sets of tubes. So the girls are following in our footsteps, sorry girls.

They were fantastic about the whole process. Our day started at 2 am with their last bottle before surgery. J and I rolled them over in their cribs, they love sleeping on their bellies, and fed them a bottle. S woke a little and L not at all, I wish I could eat in my sleep- although I probably do enough eating awake! Then I tried to give them a bottle of apple juice and water at 4 am, but they weren't interested. At 6:20 we left for the surgical center and checked in at 6:40 (right on time for once!). After filling out paper work we went up to triage to get the girls vitals done and meet with the anesthesiologist. The girls were champs but L didn't like the oxygen check.

After that we went to play! That part was probably the longest. The girls had fun watching the other little girl. They are fascinated by older children. S went back with J to have her tubes placed. She was happy the whole time! She chatted with the nurses and checked everything out and didn't cry once. Then J came back and sat with L and I until it was her turn. L and I went back and she was fine until she had to leave me to be laid on the table. She wasn't as bad as I thought she would be. She whined a little but was very good.

Then J and I went to the adult waiting room and were there for all of 5 mins until S was ready for us to come back to recovery. We walked in and she was hanging out with the nurse wide awake and looking around. She was laid down with me in a chair and I got to snuggle her. She was a bit mad about being hungry and she downed about 5 oz of water and apple juice.

L came out next and she was mad! The nurse brought her in and she was flailing and screaming. J took her and couldn't calm her down. She does not like being out of control and new situations. Finally I switched babies with him and had to rock and sing to L. Then she calmed down and went to sleep and slept for a good 3 hours! S slept on the way home too.

Once both girls had a good nap they were fine! We have to do ear drops for 5 days twice a day. They are not fun! Neither girl wants to hold still long enough.

For Mama's Sanity

My Darling Children,
For Mommy to maintain her sanity she needs the following:

1. To be able to pee in peace and not with children clinging to the gate two feet away screaming their heads.
2. For you to play nicely and not pull each others' hair, stand on each other, pull each other down, or smack each other.
3. For 10 seconds without someone climbing on me, I love you and I love to snuggle but sometimes mommy needs a little space.
4. For all my hair to remain on my head. I know you are learning to stand on your own but when you lose your balance could you grab my shirt or arm and not my hair that you pull out of my head in chunks.
5. For you to sleep past 5 am.

Poop

So I have a list of post ideas that I started and every time I get a new idea I add it to my list. Here is my problem: half the time I never actually write about them. I have ideas from months ago that probably aren't relavant any more, such as: The girls starting to sit up! Now that they are crawling it is probably obvious that they are sitting.

I have one about pooping. It just says pooping. I don't really remember what I was going to actually write about- baby poop? cat poop? When the babies came home one of our cats, Motor, decided that to get back at us for bringing these stinky, crying attention hogs into his life he would begin pooping on the floor. Lots of fun. Evidently he was really just mad about the organic flushable litter we were buying him (which I love) and decided to save mom and dad some money. We switched to the cheap stuff you can pick up at Target and Motor decided he could poop in the litter box again. Of course his pooping outside of the box confused the other cat, Joey, who is really pretty but not very smart (sweet but dumb as a brick, and I love him for it). So Joey now pees on the floor. Luckily it is only one corner of the basement, but it gross. We did take him to the vet and there is nothing wrong with him, so we are open to suggestions on how to fix this situation.

Pooping could also be about the girls. I love you ladies but boy do you poop. We decided when L was little she really liked modeling all the outfits she owned in one day because she was really good at pooping all over her outfit.

Along this same line, I am the best diaper changer this side of the Mississippi. I changed S on two chairs put together at Starbucks in the time it took my mom to pick up our skinny vanilla iced lattes (yum). She was just wet, but I am good, lots of practice. I can't wait until we don't have to pay for diapers any more.

We are almost done paying for formula. A little twin math for you: We go through 6 containers (the big ones) in a month. Each container costs about $23. So in a month we spend about $138 on formula. I do use coupons usually. Only 2 more months!

I'm a SAHM

So for those of you that don't know I'm currently a SAHM (stay-at-home mom). This, at least for me, explains the lack of posts. I am in awe of all the women who stay at home with their children. I thought that staying at home would be easier than being a working mom because you know I'd be down to one job from two. I knew that it would still be hard but thought it would at least be easier. Yeah not so much. Don't get me wrong, I love it! But you never get a break, except right now they are asleep. At least at work I got a lunch break and I had 8 mins. between every class period and the time at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day. Not now.

So what adds to this is that the girls are crawling! S started first with army crawling around Memorial day and about a week later she moved on to real crawling. L started on June 29. Being my L she went right to full blown crawling. If she isn't going to do it right she isn't going to do it. So no more easy changing diapers, because we always want to move, no more putting kids down and coming back to find them in the same spot. We have baby proofed everything, and Mommy's new favorite word is no. No don't chew on the cord, no don't pull all my magizines down, no you can't sit on your sister's head, no don't pull the cat's tail, no don't climb up on the coffee table, and so on.

One thing I never thought about is that 9 month old twins fight. Who would have thought! S steals a toy and L cries. Then L steals it back and S cries. L's favorite thing to do is everytime S comes near her she screams or cries. S most likely has barely touched her but still she screams. It's a blast.

Don't get me wrong, they are amazing and it is so much fun watching them discover new things and learn how to coordinate themselves. I love them and L has learned how to say mama. She doesn't know that is me yet but it makes my heart swell to hear it.

So hopefully I've gotten the SAHM thing down a little better now after two weeks and I will update more!

My Grandma Called Us Fish

My family has the swimming gene. My dad comes from fishermen, my mom was a lifegaurd and swim coach, my sisters and I are divers and grew up on summer swim leagues.
And guess who inherited the gene:





My bee loves to splash and swim. A few days ago we even dunked her under (you blow in their face and they breath and you both go under, my mom's trick) and she loved it- so don't call CPS!



The bug on the other hand is not a fan of feeling. We went to the beach she cried just going close to the water. S was all about it, she hated to get out. She wanted to play with the big kids, it broke my heart how she would watch them and eek at them, saying "look at me, play with me!"

L warmed up to the water as the summer went on. She just needs some time to get used to it. She is my cautious girl. I'm sure by next summer she will be a little fish too.

(I wrote this post forever ago but forgot to finish it! So here it is now)

9 Months

Miss S,
Oh my goodness how I love you. You have grown so much over the last few months, I can hardly believe that you were once the tiny baby I brought home from the hospital. You used to fit in one of my arms and we would carry you around like a little football. Now your long legs dangle off my lap when I read you bed time stories. Although you are never on my lap for long. You love to come in for a quick snuggle and then you are off again. I love our snuggles though.

You are into everything now and have just learned how to crawl on your knees. You figured it out so quickly. You started with rolling every where, then you army crawled and now full blown crawling. You also love to pull yourself up and like to test the waters with trying to stand on your own. Yesterday Daddy and I were playing on the floor with you and your sister and you were crawling all over Daddy. You would pull yourself up on him and then you would let go and fall right on your backside. Then you would look up at me and just laugh.

I think I say "S no!" more than I say anything else but it doesn't bother you. You like to turn and look at me when I say no and smile at me. Then you go right back to what you were doing. When I come and get you you cry, and really let me know what kind of trouble I'm in. No matter how much you keep Daddy and I on our toes your little laugh is just infectious and you love sharing it with everyone.

I am very proud to say that you are me inside and out, I hope you will be proud of that fact one day.

I love you!
Momma

(please ignore my leg!)

My little L,

You are my little snuggle bug and such a momma's girl and I love it! No matter what kind of day I am having when I pick you up at daycare and you clap your hands and wiggle and grin from ear to ear because I am there it melts my heart. When you fall and bump your head and you reach for me to make it better it makes me feel like super mom.

You are sweet as sugar but you can be quite the diva, and you make Daddy and I laugh. You want things the way you want them. Heaven forbid I try and get you dressed when you don't want to or put you in your carseat. You will clench up your little fists and wave them and yell. So you usually get what you want! I guess Daddy and I will need to stop that soon.

You have gotten so big in the last months. You have always been my little peanut but you are catching up to your sister, and you stand your own against her now. You even steal your toys back! You are my little examiner. You love to take things in your hand and turn them over and over to figure out how they work. You imitate very well and figured out how to clap first. You LOVE to dance. You wiggle your little shoulders and it is so cute to watch you.

I love you so much and can't wait to watch you grow into the amazing person you are going to become.

Love you,

Momma

Not What I Thought

Having twins changes your ideas about being a parent. From the moment I saw those two little dots on the ultrasound every preconceived notion I had about being a first time parent went out the window.

The day we found out was the first time my whole pregnancy that I had morning sickness. I literally felt sick to my stomach after finding out. Mostly because how the heck were we supposed to pay for these two little people. We weren't sure we could afford one baby. I had planned on continuing working and paying for day care. Which is what I have done, but instead of bringing home $1,000 or so a month I bring home about $200 (day care is expensive!).

I have mourned missing out on some other things too. Being able to breast feed and not worry about supplementing, pouring all of your attention one baby, being able to take swimming lessons, the ease of taking one child out, and so on.

J and I used to look at parents with one baby and think you don't know how easy you have it. Especially when we were in the midst of sleepness nights. It was hard not to think of how much easier my pregnancy would have been and to not regret that we would never know what it was like to have just one child.

At the same time I can't imagine what it would be like to not have my two girls. I know how lucky I am to have these two healthy babies. I love them so much. I have to remember too that as a mom of twins I get to experience so many more things then singleton moms do. I get to see how they interact with each other. It is really so neat to see them play together and love on each other. It is even fun (at least right now) to see them fight! Their relationship is amazing. It is neat to watch each develope her own personality. Plus I get twice the love. Although I wish I hadn't missed out on some things I know that I wouldn't want to miss out on all the things we have experienced.

The Break

Sorry for the break. I didn't mean to take one, it just kind of happened. This time of year gets crazy at school. We are taking our standardized tests and deliver the yearbooks next week so we have been busy. By the time I get home I am ready to go right to bed. The girls have been teething and it's been exhausting! We've stayed very busy!

8 months

Well the girls will be 9 months next week so this is really late. I'm not going to post letters for them because I figured I would just do their 9 month ones next week. But here are pictures of the girls at 8 months.

Little Bug,


You are my girlie.

My Busy Bee,

You keep me on my toes, and I love it.

Hey I Know You!

All of a sudden the girls are playing together. It is a blast to watch them interact with each other more and more. They have always held hands and kind of talked back and forth but now they play and steal toys back and forth. They love to suck on each other, we call it giving kisses. They laugh hystarically when you kiss one of their baby bellies. If I kiss S then both she and L crack up and vice versa. It is so fun to watch them together. I love that they love each other.

Here are pictures from our baby wrestling match yesterday.


You can see S cracking up about L giving her kisses. L sits in the middle of the floor while S rolls all over. S would roll away and then roll back. It was a great game.

More kisses!

This is my favorite. S rolled on top of L and was trying to bite her backside.

MoMs and Post Partum Depression

I was going through my Google reader the other day and I stumbled across Postpartum Progress. I found this post about a study that found mothers of multiples are more likely to have PPD then regular moms. I discovered this when I found out I was pregnant with the girls because like all other pregnant women I most have been given the list of increased risk factors 10 times. The study said they could not determine why this was true but it was.

I can tell you why:
A singleton mom doesn't have to do triage when her infant cries. Which baby needs me more, which baby is more likely to escalate their crying quickly, which will be ok to leave for a minute, which baby is hungrier, which baby pooped more, which baby can I get to calm down faster.

A singleton mom has never had to figure out how to feed two infants at once. If I can roll this one over and prop the bottle here then I can balance this bottle and wipe the formula from her chin at the same time, This baby is done and crying because they need to burp but the other will scream and not take the bottle back if I put the bottle down for a second maybe I can roll her with this hand and lift her by pushing her against me, "Hush honey mommy can't do anything for you until your sister is done eating," "Hold on I'll finish giving you your bottle as soon as I can get your sister to stop crying"

A singleton mom has never had to break up baby fights during tummy time. "No baby you can't suck on your sister's ear," "Stop, when you grab her it scratches her," "Stop kicking your sister," "You can't roll over her"

A singleton mom has never had to figure out how to get two babies and her groceries into a grocery cart. Do I get two carts and put one in each seat and then drag one and push one, do I get a cart and bring a stroller, do I put one in the seat and one in the carrier in the basket

A singleton mom has never been ridiculed by her peers for simply giving birth. "Are they natural," "Are you going to be the next octomom," "I'm glad I'm not you," "You have your hands full," "I don't know how you do it," "Wow TWO"

I'm not saying that singleton mothers don't have a hard time and I'm sure they have experienced some of the things I described. Being a first time mom (or even a second, third, fourth time mom) is hard and comes with it's own challenages. I know that any mother with two or more children experiences a lot of these things, but when it's two infants it seems to amplify the pain. It pierces your soul and breaks your heart when you have to choose between the cries of your two 3 month olds. I can certainly see why so many more MoMs would have PPD.

The fears that come with two seems to be doubled. I worried how we would pay for two. My twins were a surprise. We never expected to have more than one and didn't have a plan in place for paying for twins. We worried about our living space (a one bedroom apartment wouldn't work for four people), day care costs, the cost of diapers and baby food, the cost of clothes and cribs and toys. I still worry about those things.

We worried about the pregnancy. I was in fear my whole pregnancy that they would come early or something would go wrong. I know this is common for pregnant woman but the risks that come with twins seems to be double- worrying about two babies.

I worried when we came home from the hospital that I wouldn't be able to tell my babies apart. It only took a day or two and I knew who was who, but that initial fear was so real and so scary. What if L was really S? What if I didn't know my own babies?

I worried that I would love one more than the other. The nursing books and mothering pamphlets talked about bonding with your baby and I had fears that I wouldn't be able to bond with both.

I worried that I wouldn't be able to handle both of the babies by myself. The thought of both of them screaming scared the hell out of me. I didn't think I could handle letting one cry, or trying to feed both of them. J stayed home with me for 6 weeks and I dreaded and feared the day he went back to work. He was much more confident about caring for the girls then I was. I learned that I could do it. I could handle both of them. I could feed them and take them places but it was scary to be out numbered.

The worst part about being a MoM is having to choose one baby over the other when they are both crying. I can pick up both at once and I have soothed that way but sometimes you have to let one cry and that is the worst feeling in the world. The feeling that there is nothing you can do for your baby.

I completely understand why being a MoM increases your PPD risk.

First Mother's Day

Today was wonderful. J made sure I had an extra special mother's day and took over all of the morning feedings so I could sleep in, for the first time in a year! The girls gave me a table and chair set for the deck which I am very excited about. Now that the weather is so nice we will use it often.

Better then all the presents and sleep was the fact that today I got to celebrate being a mom. I have to beautiful girls who are healthy (minus an ear infection) and growing and happy. While everyday I hope that I show them how much I love them and that I help guide them and help them to grow like my mother did for me, today I also celebrate all that they have given me.

They have shown me that I can love more then I ever thought I could. They give me snuggles while eating or rocking at night. S's giggles and her little bottom up in the air when she sleeps. L's clappy feet and her little happy dance. The bouncy, chatty, wiggly fun we have when we play. The pure delight at discovering something new or when I pick them up from daycare or wake them in the morning. The slobbery kisses and inquisitive eyes. Learning with them and watching them grow. They are so perfect and I am lucky to be their mama.

So happy mother's day to my mom and to all of you.

Church: Then vs. Now

The girls and I go to church every Sunday. J usually stays at home, because a) we are not the same religion, b) he takes the 2 hours of quiet to clean and get things done around the house that we don't typically have time to do (laundry, yard work, vacuuming, moping, cleaning bathrooms, washing dishes, etc.). So the girls and I go to church with my family and then to Target to run errands afterward.

It is amazing how different going to church is now compared to a few months ago.

In Nov./Dec.: The girls would sleep through the entire mass. We carried them in in their carseats and they would sleep in the carseat until we got home. Occasionally they would wake up and we would give them a bottle. Or we would go right back to my parents' house and feed them.

Now: The girls usually fall asleep in the car on the way to church (it takes about 30 mins to get there). They typically wake up on the walk from the car into the building. Then we take them out and play "pass the baby." L is typically pretty happy to sit on someone's lap and just hang out. She loves playing with my mom and sister's necklaces (so does S). Yesterday during mass L was sitting on my sister's lap and dancing with the music. She did this little sway wiggle. It was really cute! She has figured out that if she talks/yells during the service we take her to the lobby where all the other kids who are noisy go. She loves to watch the other kids.

S is a different story. She is of course my wiggle worm. Holding her during mass is like running a marathon. So she gets passed around a lot. We even sat her in a chair between my mom and me with some toys and blocked her off so she couldn't fall. She loves to watch all the people but only pays attention to one thing for a few seconds before she needs to be entertained with something else.

They both love the bells that are rung during mass. When they ring the bells both stop and look around like "where did that come from?" They are super cute!

After mass we go to Target so I can grocery shop, but diapers and formula. The girls love getting out of their carseats and sitting in the carts. I push one then my mom or sister push the other. Lots of fun!

S eating Puffs after church. I was baking so they hung out in their high chairs and "helped"



Baking and puffs are fun!


S playing before church

L before church. The girls play and hang out with Daddy while I get ready.

Karma or Intuition

This morning I woke up and went about my morning routine. I always hate getting dressed, especially since my body has changed so much from carrying around 2 big old babies. So it always takes me a few tries to find the right outfit. I pulled out a pair of blue pants and then went hunting for a shirt. I found a purple shirt I liked and had "lost" for a few weeks (crumpled up in a ball in the back of my drawer). The blue pants and purple shirt didn't work so well together but thanks to a few pooped through outfits at daycare I had washed a pair of khakis last night that were still in the dryer.

I left on the blue pants and went downstairs to make breakfast and morning bottles. I debated running down to get my pants. I thought for a moment "I can just leave these on until I finish feeding the girls in case someone pukes all over me." I decided to run down and change now before the girls woke up. Bad decision.

I feed the girls on a twin nursing pillow since I still breast feed them in the morning and then I give them about 2 or 3 oz in a bottle. It is easier to just leave them on the nursing pillow. I finished feeding the girls and guess what happened. L puked all over herself and me. There was a puddle in my lap. I mop her up with a cotton breast pad (the only thing within reach) and don't even bother with my pants. Luckily she didn't get my shirt.

So I either have really great mother's intuition or karma heard my thoughts and the universe is out to get me today. In either case maybe I should have gone back to bed!

Is it Over?

Over the last week or so my milk supply has been decreasing, much to my dismay. There has never been enough to go around but now it seems like each of the girls only gets a few ounces. The last few nights L has straight out refused to nurse. I don't know if maybe she has decided that it just isn't worth the effort any more or her teeth are bothering her, but she freaks out when I try and get her to latch. She is taking the bottle just fine though. I guess she has decided to be done nursing. S is still ok with it. She gets distracted easily so we have to relatch often. So I've decided to stop pumping at work. Then we will see how L keeps doing with the evening feed and I may have to drop that one too. Hopefully we will be able to do mornings for a bit longer.



I'm glad that nature/the girls have decided on their own to wrap up breast feeding because it would have been hard to make that decision myself. I love being able to feed them but it will be nice to be able to diet and exercise and have my body back. It is still upsetting to think about not being able to snuggle them any more and they are so cute when they eat and hold hands. I will miss it so much! They are growing up so quickly!

When Did I Become a Mommy?

Ok so I know technically this happened last year or 7 months ago, depending on who you are. When it technically happens does really sink in. I've been a mommy and enjoyed being a mommy. I love my babies so much, but every once in a while I have "holy cow I'm a mom" moments.

So what made me really feel like a mommy?
Not changing diapers
giving medicine
doing laundry
washing bottles
wiping snot with my bare hand and wiping it on my jeans (my children how snot issues, I love them anyway)
Not the hugs, kisses, snuggles, rocking
not the breaking up fights
the "chatting"
laughing or watching them learn

Nope none of that. Although I have enjoyed all of that.

Today I was standing at the sink while the girls were playing in their swing and exersaucer. As I stood their washing the vomit out of a baby doll I had that "I'm a mom" moment. I realized I will spend the next 20 years (or my mom claims at least 26) taking care of these people. It wasn't a this sucks moment, but more of a realization or perhaps an acceptance. It might be hard, this mommy business, but it sure is a blast. Certainly an always changing, never ending, exciting challenge.

3 years

April 14, 2007: Our Wedding Day

Ok first things first- I wish I was still that thin!

My husband and I have been married for 3 years. What an amazing journey it has been so far, I look forward to the next 63 more years.

Things I will never forget about that day:

- I was so nervous before and as soon as I saw J and started walking down the aisle all of that lifted.

- I loved the father daughter dance and my dad telling me how proud he was of us. Making my dad proud means the world to me.

- When we went to the hotel room J signed in and I was standing in the lobby. Two tourists wanted their pictures taken with me in my wedding dress!

- The Ritz has the best room service (it was all we had eaten all day!)

- Disney World for our honeymoon was the best trip ever!

I love you J and I don't know how I could have survived the last 7 months without you. Thank you for taking care of me and the girls. Thank you for my darling pumpkins. I love you!

7 months

L

Miss S

My little wiggle worm,
You have become one busy little girl. You love to wiggle and move and are so interested in everything around you. You are quick to smile and giggle and you love to hear yourself yell. It drives daddy crazy but he can't help but laugh with you when you shout and then giggle. You have started to become a little fearsome of strangers but the people you know you greet with big smiles.

You love to roll and you roll all over the living room floor. We've had a few close calls where we had to catch you before you tried to roll off the couch. It is very hard to get you dressed now too, but it is so much fun watching you learn new things. You sit up all on your own and you love playing with toys and chewing on everything. You also love to eat your solid foods. You like carrots, bananas, apples and sweet potatoes.

You are such a cheerful happy baby and we love you so much my little S.
Love,
Mommy



Little Bug,
You are such a sweet and easy going little girl. You are such a happy girl but unlike your sister you are very careful with your laughs. Only certain very special things get you laughing and when Daddy or I get you to giggle it is like winning a prize. You love to snuggle and your favorite game to play is grab mommy's necklace. When I hold you you concentrate very hard on my necklace and grab it to put in your mouth.

You love to eat! You think solids are the best. You love the chicken we tried the other day. You couldn't get it fast enough and you would yell at mommy when I tried to feed your sister. It was very cute. You are fascinated with the show Yo Gabba Gabba and we watch one episode every few days. You love the songs.

You love to watch everything around you and you observe things to see how they work. You love playing with the shape sorter and these little balls Nana found with things in them that spin. You always want to hold the book when I read to you too. You have learned how to sit so well and like to sit and play.

We love you!
Mommy

A Few Pictures and an Update

Long time no post. It's been crazy at work and then we had spring break this week. It was nice to have a week off and enjoy the girls. I do have to say that all of a sound they have become exhausting! They are wiggle worms who are very attatched to their mama. You have to hold S to try and change her diaper and heaven forbid I try to put either of them down on their playmat so I can use the bathroom!

So here is what our week looked like:
Monday- Doctors appointments (I got all of them out of the way, 3 for me and 1 for S)
Tuesday- Shopping with Nana
Wednesday- Outlet shopping with Nana
Thursday- My Gym playdate with my MoMs club with Grandma
Friday- Mall and Easter Bunny pictures with Grandma

We had lots of fun and I am not looking forward to going back to school!

Pictures from our adventures:

The girls really liked the Easter Bunny. S thought his whiskers were really cool!

We took the girls to the park for the first time and they liked swinging. Well S did more than L.

S

S and Dad

Little Bug chilling

Both girls have learned how to sit in the last few weeks. L is a bit more stable then S, but both are pretty good.

L showing off her skills.

S enjoying mama's straw

My Gym play date. The girls loved watching all the bigger kids run around and play. They enjoyed the ball pit and some of the other activities but mostly they just watched everyone else.

L

S

S checking her email. Ok no really, both girls love the laptop and want to hit all the buttons.

We've started putting the girls in the cart when we go shopping. They really like checking out everything. Right now it works well because they both fit in the front and I have run to put all my stuff in the back!

St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day!





Just wanted to share cute pictures!

Thanks for the outfits Nana!

What No One Told Me

One of my favorite blogs (A Few of My Favorite Things) did this a while back. I thought I would do one too.

Things No One Told Me About Having Children:

- Worrying: I never realized I would worry all the time. Whoever said that when you have children it is like your heart goes wandering about outside of your body totally got it right. I worried when I was pregnant but I thought it would get better when the girls were born since then I could see them and I would know if there was something wrong. That's a joke. The worry only got worse.

- Going back to work: This was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I have a hard time still, every day, leaving them at day care and going off to work. I think I knew it would be hard but I just couldn't even imagine how difficult it would be. It breaks my heart.

- Their smiles: Those little smiles and baby laughs light up my world. Of course every baby laugh is adorable but when it is your own child, oh my gosh melt your heart. There is nothing better then when my children are happy.

-Time speeds up: They grow up way too fast!


And just for fun, here is S playing on the computer with me (please ignore the double chin). We were watching Sesame Street on YouTube.

 

Rocking

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been busy at work trying to finish the yearbook and the girls have been sick (they both have double ear infections, a first). All that means I've been exhausted.

I sat in the girls dark room this evening rocking S and thinking. She has a difficult time falling asleep because she loves to be involved in everything. As I rocked her back and forth I thought about how different this was. I've rocked many babies to sleep. I was the go to babysitter on my street growing up and I loved the job. I've baby sat for little babies and older kids, some of them are very much like my own siblings. But as I rocked my own baby it was different.

I held her in the crook of my arm and she snuggled her face against my chest. I rocked back and forth and held her tiny hand wrapped around my finger. I listened to her sister breathing in the crib near us. And I enjoyed it. Soaking up every second of holding her. Breathing her in and kissing her head. Singing to her and thinking about the person she will grow up to be. Savoring it all because soon I will not be able to rock her to sleep. But that short period of time that she snuggled into me and I held her while she slept, that moment will be mine always.

Vote for me!

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Thanks everyone for entering!! And thank you Abigail for offering the prize :-)

Personalities

A lot of my friends ask if the girls have their own personalities yet. I always laugh at this question because of course they do. They are two different people. I guess I shouldn't though because it does surprise me how different they both are. It's pretty amazing that for two people who can't talk or really move yet they have found ways to express who they are so clearly. They have different voices and cries. They like different toys and food. It is pretty amazing.

Here are some of the things that already stand out about them:
L- She is my thinker. She loves to watch and examine things. She is going to be my little engineer. She likes to see how things work. She doesn't just play with her toys but looks at them and figures them out. She likes to examine her hands. She takes a bit longer to hit her milestones but I think this is because she wants to get it just right. When she figured out tummy time she held her head up perfectly, same with holding herself up. She never wobbles like her sister does. She took longer to laugh and smile but she does both so well now. I think L is also more musical then her sister. She loves when we sing to her. When she fusses in the car as soon as we turn on the radio she is happy. She also has a lyrical quality to her babbling. Her personality is more like her Dad's.

S-
S is my mother's revenge. She has my personality. She loves to socialize. She will flirt and laugh and talk with people. She likes to be a part of the party. She hates to nap because she just knows she will miss something. She likes to hit the ground running and is probably a bit more daring then her sister. She rolls already and loves to stand while you hold her hands. She likes to chat and laugh. She watches people and loves to imitate. She hates to eat because she would rather play. She already steals her sister's toys. She loves to have her hands busy- holding toys, or her feet. She is my wiggle worm and is already a busy girl.

I finally have some pictures to post. Thank you Carrie for suggesting Picasa!

Miss L hanging out with Mommy at Aunt J's bday.

Miss S with Nana at Aunt J's bday.