Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Mommy Psychic Abilities

Ok not really, or at least mine haven't been properly honed yet.  I'm deep in the middle of NaNoWriMo and so close to finishing- less than 5,000 words to go!  I'm projected to finish today, we shall see.  I'm taking a little break to spend some words over here because something struck me hard yesterday.

Do you ever look at your kids and see the future?  A neighbor and I were standing watching our kids play, and Lily had little jeans and tennis shoes and she looked so old.  All we could think was taking the three of them to the bus stop in a few years.

This happens to me a lot, especially recently.  Sophie was playing with some older kids at Gymboree and she desperately wanted them to accept her in their game but they were to busy to notice the baby.  She wasn't really upset and tagged alone any way, but what about in future years when she gets left out or teased.  The thought of it just breaks my heart.

We took Sophie to a speech therapist yesterday.  The pronunciation issues we were worried she had seem as though they will be something that she will out grow.  The therapist was worried that she could have a processing issue though so we are going to do another test.

This scared the heck out of me.  I grew up with a learning disability that seems to be genetic and I am very afraid that I will pass it on to my children.  The therapist said that if Sophie has these difficulties it could be another manifestation of what I have.  I did just fine with my LD and taught myself how to do something that people do naturally.  I worked hard though and I was often jealous of my sister who did so well in school, not that I didn't but she always did better than me.

I worried about Sophie's future.  I don't want her to feel competitive with her twin sister,  I don't want things to be hard for her.  I worried about the work she will have to put in to adjust.  I know that we would help her and do everything we can to help her overcome this, but I know how hard it is.

As a mom it is hard to know that you can't protect them from everything.  Sure I can watch over them and hopefully protect them from the big things but they will be teased and they will feel sad and frustrated and I can't stop it.  There are hard life experiences that they have to go through to become fully capable adults.  Although experiencing those things are all part of life it is hard as a mom to let go and let be.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Raising Twins

As a twin mama I get asked a lot of stupid questions. Typically conversations go as follows:

"You have your hands full. Are they twins?"
"They don't look much alike"
"No they are fraternal, and very different"
"Do twins run in your family?" or recently "Was it a surprise?" (usually meaning did you do IVF)
"No they don't" or "Yes it was a huge shock. We never expected to have twins, they were spontaneous"

I typically try to end the conversation there. I hate how having twins means that people can ask you crazy questions about your reproductive system. I always feel a little self concious at church too, which is totally my own doing. No one has ever said anything to me, but we are Catholic and reproductive help is not sanctioned by the church (which I think is stupid but I'll keep that to myself). So I feel like people just assume that is what we did, and everyone is judging me. Which is so stupid, I know they don't. Ok ramble done.

Any way we had a friend who is a fraternal twin in town, she said she and her sister learned how to say fraternal by the time they were three because they got so many questions. But our friends were so different from each other that you never really even thought of them as twins but they have always been very close, which is what I am hoping for my girls.

We treat them as two very separate individuals which based on the research I've done seems like it is the best thing to do since they are two very different people. They've started picking out their own clothes (with limitations or they would wear elmo slippers and cowboy boots everywhere). They choose very different things. I plan on potty training Soph first because Lily has no interest. Lily will use the potty when she is good and ready. I discipline them differently at times because different methods work better for each- Lily will do time out but if you yell at her it hurts her feelings and Soph responds much better to verbal correction.

They are different but oh how they love eachother. They try and sleep in the same bed at night, they act truly excited when they see each other after nap time. The other day they had the following conversation:
"Yeye, I miss you" Big hug
"Soapie, I miss you" big hug
and they kept doing this over and over.

They watch out for each other when they are around other kids. Sophie always makes sure Lily has a toy, and they both want to take turns with each other, forget all the other kids but they are happy to go Sophie then Lily then Sophie then Lily.

It's been an interesting ride so far, I'm a little excited to see how their relationship changes- if we survive the terrible twos...

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween Happenings

My children had been anticipating Halloween for weeks. They knew what they were going to be: a monkey and a paingin, they knew they would get candy and they knew all about pumpkins and witches (thank you Dora and every Halloween book ever printed). They had practiced saying trick or treat (super cute).

We knew they were excited but didn't think they would pull it off. They managed to go two blocks and said their lines just right. We had a few scares, a scary pumpkin and a man in a mask, but they had a blast with their neighbor friend who is a month younger. It was so exciting we are still talking about it and carrying around the candy we haven't eaten yet. Can't wait for next year!