Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Mommy Psychic Abilities

Ok not really, or at least mine haven't been properly honed yet.  I'm deep in the middle of NaNoWriMo and so close to finishing- less than 5,000 words to go!  I'm projected to finish today, we shall see.  I'm taking a little break to spend some words over here because something struck me hard yesterday.

Do you ever look at your kids and see the future?  A neighbor and I were standing watching our kids play, and Lily had little jeans and tennis shoes and she looked so old.  All we could think was taking the three of them to the bus stop in a few years.

This happens to me a lot, especially recently.  Sophie was playing with some older kids at Gymboree and she desperately wanted them to accept her in their game but they were to busy to notice the baby.  She wasn't really upset and tagged alone any way, but what about in future years when she gets left out or teased.  The thought of it just breaks my heart.

We took Sophie to a speech therapist yesterday.  The pronunciation issues we were worried she had seem as though they will be something that she will out grow.  The therapist was worried that she could have a processing issue though so we are going to do another test.

This scared the heck out of me.  I grew up with a learning disability that seems to be genetic and I am very afraid that I will pass it on to my children.  The therapist said that if Sophie has these difficulties it could be another manifestation of what I have.  I did just fine with my LD and taught myself how to do something that people do naturally.  I worked hard though and I was often jealous of my sister who did so well in school, not that I didn't but she always did better than me.

I worried about Sophie's future.  I don't want her to feel competitive with her twin sister,  I don't want things to be hard for her.  I worried about the work she will have to put in to adjust.  I know that we would help her and do everything we can to help her overcome this, but I know how hard it is.

As a mom it is hard to know that you can't protect them from everything.  Sure I can watch over them and hopefully protect them from the big things but they will be teased and they will feel sad and frustrated and I can't stop it.  There are hard life experiences that they have to go through to become fully capable adults.  Although experiencing those things are all part of life it is hard as a mom to let go and let be.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Raising Twins

As a twin mama I get asked a lot of stupid questions. Typically conversations go as follows:

"You have your hands full. Are they twins?"
"They don't look much alike"
"No they are fraternal, and very different"
"Do twins run in your family?" or recently "Was it a surprise?" (usually meaning did you do IVF)
"No they don't" or "Yes it was a huge shock. We never expected to have twins, they were spontaneous"

I typically try to end the conversation there. I hate how having twins means that people can ask you crazy questions about your reproductive system. I always feel a little self concious at church too, which is totally my own doing. No one has ever said anything to me, but we are Catholic and reproductive help is not sanctioned by the church (which I think is stupid but I'll keep that to myself). So I feel like people just assume that is what we did, and everyone is judging me. Which is so stupid, I know they don't. Ok ramble done.

Any way we had a friend who is a fraternal twin in town, she said she and her sister learned how to say fraternal by the time they were three because they got so many questions. But our friends were so different from each other that you never really even thought of them as twins but they have always been very close, which is what I am hoping for my girls.

We treat them as two very separate individuals which based on the research I've done seems like it is the best thing to do since they are two very different people. They've started picking out their own clothes (with limitations or they would wear elmo slippers and cowboy boots everywhere). They choose very different things. I plan on potty training Soph first because Lily has no interest. Lily will use the potty when she is good and ready. I discipline them differently at times because different methods work better for each- Lily will do time out but if you yell at her it hurts her feelings and Soph responds much better to verbal correction.

They are different but oh how they love eachother. They try and sleep in the same bed at night, they act truly excited when they see each other after nap time. The other day they had the following conversation:
"Yeye, I miss you" Big hug
"Soapie, I miss you" big hug
and they kept doing this over and over.

They watch out for each other when they are around other kids. Sophie always makes sure Lily has a toy, and they both want to take turns with each other, forget all the other kids but they are happy to go Sophie then Lily then Sophie then Lily.

It's been an interesting ride so far, I'm a little excited to see how their relationship changes- if we survive the terrible twos...

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween Happenings

My children had been anticipating Halloween for weeks. They knew what they were going to be: a monkey and a paingin, they knew they would get candy and they knew all about pumpkins and witches (thank you Dora and every Halloween book ever printed). They had practiced saying trick or treat (super cute).

We knew they were excited but didn't think they would pull it off. They managed to go two blocks and said their lines just right. We had a few scares, a scary pumpkin and a man in a mask, but they had a blast with their neighbor friend who is a month younger. It was so exciting we are still talking about it and carrying around the candy we haven't eaten yet. Can't wait for next year!

Monday, October 31, 2011

From the Mouths of Babes

My ladies have quiet the attitude, they get it from me.  A short summary on their little personalities:

Sophie: Busy, she wants to touch every thing, explore, see what it's about.  She loves other kids but is timid in large groups of adults.  She is a snuggler and loves to sit with you and give big hugs. She can be cautious.

Lily: The princess, she wants what she wants when she wants it. She is a girly girl and a ham.  She likes figuring out how things work, and is very quick to catch on to things. She will love on you on her own terms, and is quick to have her feelings hurt.

So lately lots of funny little things have been coming out of their mouths.

Yesterday the four of us went to dinner with my parents.  When we were waiting for the check Lily was getting impatient and kept telling us, "bye bye, go in car."  So J said "ok here you drive" and handed her the keys.  We get out the car and Nana starts putting Lily in her seat.  She says "no, keys, drive, I go work, money."  Boy was she ticked when we told her she had to sit in her car seat.  She was already to drive us home.  It was a glimpse into the future.

Sophie last night had her pjs on and was listening to Daddy read.  Each girl had one of Dad's cell phone (work and personal).  J says, "ok time for bed" and holds out his hand to take the phone back.  Soph says "no, in pocket" and drops the phone down her footie pjs. J had to unzip her to get it back.  I must confess that I wear a lot of clothes with no pockets and the iPhone often ends up tucked in my bra, opps.

Another from yesterday: We went to Target (seriously it is our Disney World).  I had to get a perscription and the girls were being very good.  I said they could have one thing each.  Soph picked out a toy lion and Lily a zombie Mr. Potato Head.  Then we found an alphabet Elmo and I said they could only have Elmo if they gave up their other toys.  They agreed but then we found the baby dolls. I talked them out of that because we have at least 6 babies at home, including a Bitty Baby.  Then we found what we really wanted in the clothes sections (yes they are really my children).  Lily picked out a bright pink tulle skirt, a "pretty dress" and Sophie found Elmo slippers two sizes too big.  We were quite satisfied with our choices.

Life with toddlers is never boring.

Friday, October 28, 2011


Ready for this one? Ok y'all already knew I was a little off my rocker but I've decided to participate in National Novel Writing Month again. Sounds awesome right? Yep totally is.

The gist:
You write a 50,000 word novel during the month of Novemeber with a bunch of other crazy people.

This year I've decided to tell the blogosphere about it so maybe I will actually finish. My first go was in 2008. Not sure why I didn't finish, I think being the yearbook adviser had something to do with that. I didn't participate in 2009 because I was really busy trying to keep 2 month old twins alive and you know barely had time to shower. Last year I tried again and wrote maybe 30,000 words. Not bad but hoping to finish this year.

I'm having my middle school Creative Writing students join me. They always have a blast. The goal for them is to hit 50,000 words as a class. One of my classes did last year.

Wish us luck and join in!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

I always knew I wanted to be a mom but I don't think the full reality of what that means really hits you until you are actually a mom. Being a mother of infants is exhausting. You get no sleep, people rely on you all the time, your body isn't your own and you walk around in a fog thinking you will never be you again. Then that changes, the regimented schedule changes and things are always different in Toddler Land. In toddler land I am a constant broken record and a playground. They use me as a trampoline and a slid and a diving board. But the broken record thing bothers me the most.

Here is my list of things I never thought I would say:
Don't lick that
Stop touching your sister
Get your hands out of your pants
Can't I just pee, please!
Don't touch your poop
Mommy can't hear herself think
The cats won't eat corn

At least they're cute ( most of the time)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Lily vs the Potty Seat

So a funny thing happened at Babies R' Us. That's totally how all good mommy stories start right. Anyway I decided to go to BRU so I could buy the toddler bed attachment for our convertable cribs. I'm not ready to put the girls in toddler beds but our neighbors 21 month old son just started climbing out of his crib and it takes 10-12 weeks for the special order side rails to come in the mail. So I decided to order them early and be ready for when the girls start climbing out, since Sophie already climbs out of the pack and play.

Any way, we're at BRU and I'm shopping with the girls in the cart buying pacifiers and sippy cups. I stopped and picked up two potty chairs since I had a $3 coupon and you know be prepared even though we aren't ready to start potty training either. The girls are bickering in the cart and getting impatient. I head to the crib section and Lily is playing with the potty seat. As I pull up to the counter she is wearing the seat on her head like a hat and making Sophie giggle. I don't pay much attention because at least they are behaving. I start talking to the salesman and next thing I know Lily has the potty seat around her neck.

Lily begins to cry saying "I stuck." The sales guy watches as I try to squeeze her out and begin to realize nope she is really stuck. I am in Babies R Us with a screaming child with a potty seat stuck on her head. What am I going to do? The guy gets a manager and I calm Lily down. Any way the manager gets baby oil and we manage to squeeze her out. It was rather traumatizing for Lily and very funny and embarassing for mama. I mean really whose child does that? So thank you to the lovely employees at Babies R Us, and I did manage to order the toddler rails (and we bought the potty seat, hopefully she will use it one day).

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Celebrate Freedom

Capture the Everyday from Adventuroo

One of the blogs I read does this weekly, and this week's theme is Celebrate Freedom.

We spent the 4th at the lake house and the girls had a blast celebrating our freedom. The girls enjoyed swimming and playing outside in the big yard that we don't have at home.

Sophie and daddy enjoying a walk through the woods.

Lily eating cake, her favorite. It was blueberry cobbler.

Soph sliding.

Lily loves to swing. A few months ago, and sometimes still, she calls it wee. "Mama, wee"

My week via Instagram

So Instagram is a nifty app that let's you share pictures. I love it and use it often. So this was our week:

(Lily loves ketchup. She eats it by itself dipping her fingers in and licking it off)

We're at the lake this weekend so I took a million pics.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Not sure we'll be invited back

We spent the fourth with my in-laws at their lake house. By the time we left I think they needed a week long vacation. They love the Girlies and would do anything for them and are amazing with them. The girls love Grammy and Poppy but wow were the girls a handful.

Sophie had a sinus infection, fever and was cutting a molar, and well we love Lily but she is a bit dramatic and wasn't feeling well either. We were super cranky, like world war three toddler cranky. We've also been very attached to momma. So much so that there have been times I wanted to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out.

Luckily they are feeling better and now I have to fix the bad habits we created during the last week: you know too much tv watching and eating whatever I could get into them and messed up naps.

At least they're cute:

Lily throwing poppers

Sophie and J

First fireworks- fountains but the girls liked them. Yes they watched in their carseats and yes Lily asked to be buckled.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My Favorite New Obession

I am addicted to many things- food, baby kisses, my iTouch (because I can't talk J into an iPhone...yet), email, and so on.

This is my new favorite though. After I tuck the girls in, we sit down and catch up on some favorite shows and I log into Pinterest, because I totally can't just sit and watch TV.

Can I tell you how much awesome stuff I have found? I've redecorated a wall in my house, made a wreath and started a rug. I've found awesome new blogs to follow, tried new food and become very addicted to fabric thanks to pinning.

Interested? Seriously you have to check it out. I personally think my boards rock, but I've found tons of good stuff everywhere. Be careful though it will make you want to spend lots of money but it is an awesome way to save all the stuff you find.

Monday, July 4, 2011

McFatty Monday

So one of my favorite blogs is written by Blair. Am I allowed to say that I totally love her and I want her to be my bff. When she repins my stuff on Pinterest I totally get excited because she must totally think I'm cool. I have lots of bloggers that I worship from afar but Blair was on thebump with me and she has a son that is really close in age to my kids and we've been through alot of the same things and she would totally get me if she knew me. Any way enough worship. She does this McFatty Monday so I am joining in because I really need to lose some weight.

Long story umm long:
Since Middle School I've battled my weight. My family has this lovely ritual where all of us gain weight right before you transition into "womanhood" (lovely isn't it). So I did that and the teasing began.
I started playing soccer all day every day and was itty bitty.
My family moved and I refused to eat ever again because I was so depressed and miserable and I would punish the world by starving myself (oh to be 17 again). So I remained itty bitty.
Enter J. Happiness returns as does the weight- slowly.
College 15 or um 20.
Grandma died and all I wanted to do was eat, plus wedding planning, job hunting, college graduation=heaviest I had ever been.
Drop 40 using a messed up version of South Beach for my wedding= thinnest adult weight (155).
Happy marriage, surprise spontaneous twins and antidepressants= THE heaviest I have ever been and ever wish to be.

So I'm hoping to lose weight, a lot of it. So my first goal is 10lbs. Why because that is how much I've gained being on Weight Watchers. I totally love Weight Watchers and it is the only thing that has ever really worked for me. There is a reason that I've gained that weight that is long and all my fault. So I will now lose it.

Friday, July 1, 2011


You know those arguments you have with your significant other? The ones that go:
Don't forget we have to go to...
What? You never told me that.
I did, last Friday.
No you never told me.

And so on. Yeah j and I have lots of those. Usually I'm right, I totally did tell him and he just doesn't remember, but lately we started delving back into the past and rehashing the girls delivery. Dude they must have given me some good stuff or I was too worried about shaking out of my skin after the drugs they gave me to slow down my labor ( I made it to 8 cm in an hour people!) let me tell you terbetulin sucks.

So one conversation brought during a discussion with a friend, the placenta. Evidently I every enthusiastically donated it to science. I didn't/don't care what happened to it but I have no recollection of this happening. J says I gave a whole speech about giving back because I had gotten so much. What!

So now I can only think- crap what else did I forget about? Guess that is why there are two of us. So we can remember moments like this:

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Girls Update

So I think the last time I posted Lily was learning to walk. Well we have successfully achieved that! Both girls are amazing! They are sweet to each other (sometimes) and love to give hugs and kisses to each other and to mom and dad and anyone else who wants them.

Sophie (baby A):

Soph is the more dominant twin. She is very physical. She loves to climb and can already jump picking both feet up off the ground. She loves to dance. She is busy and can be quick to anger but is also easy to redirect and distract. She loves to sing and we love Dora. She likes to sing and will sing along with you. She is becoming more chatty and has quiet a few words. She loves to say "I stuck" because she is often. She has a wonderful belly laugh and thinks so much is funny. She loves to give cuddles and loves Daddy, PopPop and Pappy. She loves balls and is my little hoarder. She will grab all kinds of toys and try to take them all over with her. She is very social and enjoys trying to play with older kids.

Lily (baby B):

Lily is my little peanut. She is a few inches shorter then her sister and is still in a size 12 months (sometimes 18). She is very verbal. The child has a full vocabulary at 18 months. It is a little scary. She said to me yesterday "Mama Sophie wants bubbles too." She does not always use full sentences and does sometimes still fill in with jibber jabber, but she is amazing. She is a copy cat and Daddy got in trouble for saying damn it when Lil repeated it perfectly. Her favorite word is cute, everything is cute. She likes to tattle already. She will come up to you and say "mama Sophie..." and tell us something naughty Sophie did. She calls Sophie Soapy and Sophie calls her YeYe. She calls bushes butches, and so many other little cute things. She likes to sing too and she will repeat the last word you sing. She likes to say the end of her prayers. I say God Bless and she fills in the names of our family and then says amen. We love to categorize, naming everyone in the family and the neighbors' family and all her aunts and uncles and grandparents. She names people on shows. We know everyone in Dora and in Fresh Beat Band and Umi Zoomi. She counts to 12, on her own, and I caught her counting the stairs in Spanish today (not as accurately as her English).

Both girls love to sing Ittsy Bittsy spider, Old MacDonald (but only with a cow), row row, twinkle twinkle and Bingo. They are good at body parts and animal noises. We are working on colors.

They are so much fun but also insanely challenging. They love to fight over silly toys and to pick on each other. But they also love each other and still love to cuddle. They are smart and funny but LOVE to throw tantrums. I think this is my favorite age but I've said that about all the ages!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I am what I am

This is a writing prompt that I do with my creative writing students. It always inspires them to write quiet a bit.

I am what I am. I am a mother of twins, a phrase that inspires awe in some or strange looks in others. I am strict and impatient at times, but fun loving and giggly at others. I am what I am. I am mother, microwave chef, chauffer, housekeeper, disciplinarian, nurse, teacher, police, judge, executioner. I am full of mistakes, redos, almosts. I am a well educated, overly educated, teacher of future generations. A writer, a knitter, a quilter, a painter, a reader, an eater. I am a pinterest addict, facebook lover, twitter tweeter, blog posting bitch. I have patience and am quick to like and to trust. I have been burned by others and changed but learned. I teach the future, I invest in my students but I call them my kids. I watch them grow. I am what I am. I am a survivor. I have over come the dark recesses of post partum depression. I let post partum obsessive compulsive disorder take over my life, but sought help on my own. I take meds but I am happy. I am what I am. I overcame my fears and I am a happy mother. A mother who will be there for her girls and celebrate their lives. I am a mother but also a teacher and wife and woman. I am what I am.

Nice to see everyone again. My goal this summer is to come back full force!