Thursday, November 3, 2011

Raising Twins

As a twin mama I get asked a lot of stupid questions. Typically conversations go as follows:

"You have your hands full. Are they twins?"
"They don't look much alike"
"No they are fraternal, and very different"
"Do twins run in your family?" or recently "Was it a surprise?" (usually meaning did you do IVF)
"No they don't" or "Yes it was a huge shock. We never expected to have twins, they were spontaneous"

I typically try to end the conversation there. I hate how having twins means that people can ask you crazy questions about your reproductive system. I always feel a little self concious at church too, which is totally my own doing. No one has ever said anything to me, but we are Catholic and reproductive help is not sanctioned by the church (which I think is stupid but I'll keep that to myself). So I feel like people just assume that is what we did, and everyone is judging me. Which is so stupid, I know they don't. Ok ramble done.

Any way we had a friend who is a fraternal twin in town, she said she and her sister learned how to say fraternal by the time they were three because they got so many questions. But our friends were so different from each other that you never really even thought of them as twins but they have always been very close, which is what I am hoping for my girls.

We treat them as two very separate individuals which based on the research I've done seems like it is the best thing to do since they are two very different people. They've started picking out their own clothes (with limitations or they would wear elmo slippers and cowboy boots everywhere). They choose very different things. I plan on potty training Soph first because Lily has no interest. Lily will use the potty when she is good and ready. I discipline them differently at times because different methods work better for each- Lily will do time out but if you yell at her it hurts her feelings and Soph responds much better to verbal correction.

They are different but oh how they love eachother. They try and sleep in the same bed at night, they act truly excited when they see each other after nap time. The other day they had the following conversation:
"Yeye, I miss you" Big hug
"Soapie, I miss you" big hug
and they kept doing this over and over.

They watch out for each other when they are around other kids. Sophie always makes sure Lily has a toy, and they both want to take turns with each other, forget all the other kids but they are happy to go Sophie then Lily then Sophie then Lily.

It's been an interesting ride so far, I'm a little excited to see how their relationship changes- if we survive the terrible twos...

1 comment:

  1. Oh, the questions people think they're entitled to ask just because we have two babies the same kills me!

    I try to adopt the attitude of "they're just curious, and they think the girls are it's a compliment, really"...but my reaction varies based on how much of a hurry I'm in at the time! : )

    I hope my girls continue to be close as well. Right now, I buy two of most outfits because I've found it's EASIER to dress them alike, rather than fight over it. The teenage years should be lots of fun--ha!