Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Crap You Need on Hand for Child Rearing

I know a lot of people who are currently pregnant or brand new parents. So I have decided to put together a list of must haves for new parents.

1. A screw driver
Seriously everything the baby needs has to be put together. J and I got in more fights cusing over how to put together the crib then we did in our first year of marriage (which they say is the hardest which is total crap. The hardest year on a marriage is the first year of your first child's life. A if you were wondering our marriage has survived- at least so far, I don't think J is ready to move out yet :-) You need a freaking screw driver just to put new batteries in the swing, which sucks when the swing is the only thing that will get your child to take a nap and it dies and you have to leave the screaming baby to run downstairs and dig the screw driver out of your husband's tool box. Then you have to dig the batteries out of the drawer in the kitchen or maybe they are in the tool box too. All the while the baby is screaming.

2. Batteries
We had the worst snow storms ever this year and in Virginia when you are supposed to get a blizzard people freak the F out. They run and buy toilet paper and milk and eggs. I ran to the grocery store and stood in line for hours to get none of those (they were already out) not diapers or formula but batteries because god forbid that we ran out of batteries. You need them for everything. Every toy, the swing, the bouncy chair, everything. We took batteries out of remotes even, and if you knew J that is a big freaking deal.

3. Ear plugs
At around 5 every day the baby will most likely scream it's head off for no reason. It's a scientific fact. Mommy's even have a special name for it- the witching hour. These will also come in handy when your child is old enough to do cry it out, if you so choose- we did. It's the only way S would go to sleep, sue us. A tv and bad reality shows also work, just crank it up- in the basement, two floors below your screaming child (only if they are safely in their crib :-) although I do know a mom that took her not yet moving on their own child down to the basement and let him sleep on the floor on a blanket with no monitor because it was the only way he and everyone else in their house would sleep- I say do what you have to, so long as the child is safe. (promise it wasn't me)

4. baby jail, or a playpen
Because really sometimes mommy just has to pee.

5. card board box
When they are old enough this will provide limitless amounts of entertainment. We have every toy available for children under 12 months and some sort of card board container (including a 6 pack beer holder) is way more entertaining then the $20 music table.

I'm sure I will have more of these fantastic tidbits as my girls continue to educate me in all that is toddlerness.

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