Raising Twins

As a twin mama I get asked a lot of stupid questions. Typically conversations go as follows:

"You have your hands full. Are they twins?"
"Yes"
"They don't look much alike"
"No they are fraternal, and very different"
"Do twins run in your family?" or recently "Was it a surprise?" (usually meaning did you do IVF)
"No they don't" or "Yes it was a huge shock. We never expected to have twins, they were spontaneous"

I typically try to end the conversation there. I hate how having twins means that people can ask you crazy questions about your reproductive system. I always feel a little self concious at church too, which is totally my own doing. No one has ever said anything to me, but we are Catholic and reproductive help is not sanctioned by the church (which I think is stupid but I'll keep that to myself). So I feel like people just assume that is what we did, and everyone is judging me. Which is so stupid, I know they don't. Ok ramble done.

Any way we had a friend who is a fraternal twin in town, she said she and her sister learned how to say fraternal by the time they were three because they got so many questions. But our friends were so different from each other that you never really even thought of them as twins but they have always been very close, which is what I am hoping for my girls.

We treat them as two very separate individuals which based on the research I've done seems like it is the best thing to do since they are two very different people. They've started picking out their own clothes (with limitations or they would wear elmo slippers and cowboy boots everywhere). They choose very different things. I plan on potty training Soph first because Lily has no interest. Lily will use the potty when she is good and ready. I discipline them differently at times because different methods work better for each- Lily will do time out but if you yell at her it hurts her feelings and Soph responds much better to verbal correction.

They are different but oh how they love eachother. They try and sleep in the same bed at night, they act truly excited when they see each other after nap time. The other day they had the following conversation:
"Yeye, I miss you" Big hug
"Soapie, I miss you" big hug
and they kept doing this over and over.

They watch out for each other when they are around other kids. Sophie always makes sure Lily has a toy, and they both want to take turns with each other, forget all the other kids but they are happy to go Sophie then Lily then Sophie then Lily.

It's been an interesting ride so far, I'm a little excited to see how their relationship changes- if we survive the terrible twos...

Girls Update

So I think the last time I posted Lily was learning to walk. Well we have successfully achieved that! Both girls are amazing! They are sweet to each other (sometimes) and love to give hugs and kisses to each other and to mom and dad and anyone else who wants them.

Sophie (baby A):

Soph is the more dominant twin. She is very physical. She loves to climb and can already jump picking both feet up off the ground. She loves to dance. She is busy and can be quick to anger but is also easy to redirect and distract. She loves to sing and we love Dora. She likes to sing and will sing along with you. She is becoming more chatty and has quiet a few words. She loves to say "I stuck" because she is often. She has a wonderful belly laugh and thinks so much is funny. She loves to give cuddles and loves Daddy, PopPop and Pappy. She loves balls and is my little hoarder. She will grab all kinds of toys and try to take them all over with her. She is very social and enjoys trying to play with older kids.

Lily (baby B):

Lily is my little peanut. She is a few inches shorter then her sister and is still in a size 12 months (sometimes 18). She is very verbal. The child has a full vocabulary at 18 months. It is a little scary. She said to me yesterday "Mama Sophie wants bubbles too." She does not always use full sentences and does sometimes still fill in with jibber jabber, but she is amazing. She is a copy cat and Daddy got in trouble for saying damn it when Lil repeated it perfectly. Her favorite word is cute, everything is cute. She likes to tattle already. She will come up to you and say "mama Sophie..." and tell us something naughty Sophie did. She calls Sophie Soapy and Sophie calls her YeYe. She calls bushes butches, and so many other little cute things. She likes to sing too and she will repeat the last word you sing. She likes to say the end of her prayers. I say God Bless and she fills in the names of our family and then says amen. We love to categorize, naming everyone in the family and the neighbors' family and all her aunts and uncles and grandparents. She names people on shows. We know everyone in Dora and in Fresh Beat Band and Umi Zoomi. She counts to 12, on her own, and I caught her counting the stairs in Spanish today (not as accurately as her English).

Both girls love to sing Ittsy Bittsy spider, Old MacDonald (but only with a cow), row row, twinkle twinkle and Bingo. They are good at body parts and animal noises. We are working on colors.

They are so much fun but also insanely challenging. They love to fight over silly toys and to pick on each other. But they also love each other and still love to cuddle. They are smart and funny but LOVE to throw tantrums. I think this is my favorite age but I've said that about all the ages!

I'm a SAHM

So for those of you that don't know I'm currently a SAHM (stay-at-home mom). This, at least for me, explains the lack of posts. I am in awe of all the women who stay at home with their children. I thought that staying at home would be easier than being a working mom because you know I'd be down to one job from two. I knew that it would still be hard but thought it would at least be easier. Yeah not so much. Don't get me wrong, I love it! But you never get a break, except right now they are asleep. At least at work I got a lunch break and I had 8 mins. between every class period and the time at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day. Not now.

So what adds to this is that the girls are crawling! S started first with army crawling around Memorial day and about a week later she moved on to real crawling. L started on June 29. Being my L she went right to full blown crawling. If she isn't going to do it right she isn't going to do it. So no more easy changing diapers, because we always want to move, no more putting kids down and coming back to find them in the same spot. We have baby proofed everything, and Mommy's new favorite word is no. No don't chew on the cord, no don't pull all my magizines down, no you can't sit on your sister's head, no don't pull the cat's tail, no don't climb up on the coffee table, and so on.

One thing I never thought about is that 9 month old twins fight. Who would have thought! S steals a toy and L cries. Then L steals it back and S cries. L's favorite thing to do is everytime S comes near her she screams or cries. S most likely has barely touched her but still she screams. It's a blast.

Don't get me wrong, they are amazing and it is so much fun watching them discover new things and learn how to coordinate themselves. I love them and L has learned how to say mama. She doesn't know that is me yet but it makes my heart swell to hear it.

So hopefully I've gotten the SAHM thing down a little better now after two weeks and I will update more!

Not What I Thought

Having twins changes your ideas about being a parent. From the moment I saw those two little dots on the ultrasound every preconceived notion I had about being a first time parent went out the window.

The day we found out was the first time my whole pregnancy that I had morning sickness. I literally felt sick to my stomach after finding out. Mostly because how the heck were we supposed to pay for these two little people. We weren't sure we could afford one baby. I had planned on continuing working and paying for day care. Which is what I have done, but instead of bringing home $1,000 or so a month I bring home about $200 (day care is expensive!).

I have mourned missing out on some other things too. Being able to breast feed and not worry about supplementing, pouring all of your attention one baby, being able to take swimming lessons, the ease of taking one child out, and so on.

J and I used to look at parents with one baby and think you don't know how easy you have it. Especially when we were in the midst of sleepness nights. It was hard not to think of how much easier my pregnancy would have been and to not regret that we would never know what it was like to have just one child.

At the same time I can't imagine what it would be like to not have my two girls. I know how lucky I am to have these two healthy babies. I love them so much. I have to remember too that as a mom of twins I get to experience so many more things then singleton moms do. I get to see how they interact with each other. It is really so neat to see them play together and love on each other. It is even fun (at least right now) to see them fight! Their relationship is amazing. It is neat to watch each develope her own personality. Plus I get twice the love. Although I wish I hadn't missed out on some things I know that I wouldn't want to miss out on all the things we have experienced.

Hey I Know You!

All of a sudden the girls are playing together. It is a blast to watch them interact with each other more and more. They have always held hands and kind of talked back and forth but now they play and steal toys back and forth. They love to suck on each other, we call it giving kisses. They laugh hystarically when you kiss one of their baby bellies. If I kiss S then both she and L crack up and vice versa. It is so fun to watch them together. I love that they love each other.

Here are pictures from our baby wrestling match yesterday.


You can see S cracking up about L giving her kisses. L sits in the middle of the floor while S rolls all over. S would roll away and then roll back. It was a great game.

More kisses!

This is my favorite. S rolled on top of L and was trying to bite her backside.

First Mother's Day

Today was wonderful. J made sure I had an extra special mother's day and took over all of the morning feedings so I could sleep in, for the first time in a year! The girls gave me a table and chair set for the deck which I am very excited about. Now that the weather is so nice we will use it often.

Better then all the presents and sleep was the fact that today I got to celebrate being a mom. I have to beautiful girls who are healthy (minus an ear infection) and growing and happy. While everyday I hope that I show them how much I love them and that I help guide them and help them to grow like my mother did for me, today I also celebrate all that they have given me.

They have shown me that I can love more then I ever thought I could. They give me snuggles while eating or rocking at night. S's giggles and her little bottom up in the air when she sleeps. L's clappy feet and her little happy dance. The bouncy, chatty, wiggly fun we have when we play. The pure delight at discovering something new or when I pick them up from daycare or wake them in the morning. The slobbery kisses and inquisitive eyes. Learning with them and watching them grow. They are so perfect and I am lucky to be their mama.

So happy mother's day to my mom and to all of you.

Karma or Intuition

This morning I woke up and went about my morning routine. I always hate getting dressed, especially since my body has changed so much from carrying around 2 big old babies. So it always takes me a few tries to find the right outfit. I pulled out a pair of blue pants and then went hunting for a shirt. I found a purple shirt I liked and had "lost" for a few weeks (crumpled up in a ball in the back of my drawer). The blue pants and purple shirt didn't work so well together but thanks to a few pooped through outfits at daycare I had washed a pair of khakis last night that were still in the dryer.

I left on the blue pants and went downstairs to make breakfast and morning bottles. I debated running down to get my pants. I thought for a moment "I can just leave these on until I finish feeding the girls in case someone pukes all over me." I decided to run down and change now before the girls woke up. Bad decision.

I feed the girls on a twin nursing pillow since I still breast feed them in the morning and then I give them about 2 or 3 oz in a bottle. It is easier to just leave them on the nursing pillow. I finished feeding the girls and guess what happened. L puked all over herself and me. There was a puddle in my lap. I mop her up with a cotton breast pad (the only thing within reach) and don't even bother with my pants. Luckily she didn't get my shirt.

So I either have really great mother's intuition or karma heard my thoughts and the universe is out to get me today. In either case maybe I should have gone back to bed!

When Did I Become a Mommy?

Ok so I know technically this happened last year or 7 months ago, depending on who you are. When it technically happens does really sink in. I've been a mommy and enjoyed being a mommy. I love my babies so much, but every once in a while I have "holy cow I'm a mom" moments.

So what made me really feel like a mommy?
Not changing diapers
giving medicine
doing laundry
washing bottles
wiping snot with my bare hand and wiping it on my jeans (my children how snot issues, I love them anyway)
Not the hugs, kisses, snuggles, rocking
not the breaking up fights
the "chatting"
laughing or watching them learn

Nope none of that. Although I have enjoyed all of that.

Today I was standing at the sink while the girls were playing in their swing and exersaucer. As I stood their washing the vomit out of a baby doll I had that "I'm a mom" moment. I realized I will spend the next 20 years (or my mom claims at least 26) taking care of these people. It wasn't a this sucks moment, but more of a realization or perhaps an acceptance. It might be hard, this mommy business, but it sure is a blast. Certainly an always changing, never ending, exciting challenge.

Breastfeeding

Ok I titled this one straight up so if you don't care to know stop reading!

Evidently breastfeeding isn't as simple as sticking a baby on your boob. I learned the hard way that it is a fine art of negotiation and teaching. I've also learned that breastfeeding is something that becomes all consuming. I've experienced enough about breastfeeding that I feel like the expert. We've done it all with our girls.

According to the nurses at the hospital when I delivered I had a moderately traumatizing c-section experience that almost lead to a blood transfusion. This trauma can cause problems with milk supply. So between that and some anatomy issues and sleepy stubborn girls the breastfeeding didn't go so well for us.

I spent a whole day clumsily trying to get it to work alone, the next day with two lactation consultants (one for each girl) who came every time the girls ate. Nothing worked and I felt like a big failure whose children would starve to death because I couldn't feed them. So we gave them formula and the lactation consultant brought in the pump. Oh what cruel torture we go through for our children.

There is nothing like sticking funnels on and having your nipples squeezed. But I pumped away for three weeks until we could see a lactation consultant. Seriously in my next life this will be my profession. These women are freaking awesome. They are the reason that I continue to breast feed my children.

Any way at 3 weeks we went to the lactation consultant. By this point I had worn myself out pumping every 3 hours and then feeding the girls. I was tired of cleaning bottles. So our LC taught me how to breastfeed. By 3 weeks the girls were more awake and a bit more coordinated and the pump had helped me fix some of my issues. The natural part of breastfeeding started to kick in for us.

Did breastfeeding make our routine any easier: no. It is something I enjoy sharing with my girls. I love watching them and having them close to me. It is also funny what I have learned about their personalities from breastfeeding. L likes to be wide awake and she focuses on eating. She is my perfectionist. S takes her time and closes her eyes. She is my laid back baby.

In case you were wondering how breastfeeding works with twins:
We weigh the girls before and after they eat. L wasn't eating enough at first and J and I worry so we weigh them to make sure they eat enough. Yes we are OCD. After we weight them I get my EZ nurse twin pillow and both girls eat together in the football hold. I do tandem feed them or we would never get anything done. The girls are then supplemented with formula or whatever I pump while at work or in the morning and at night (the two times I pump after I feed them).

Life with twins is a circus!

The Insanity of Multiples

With the holidays and family visiting the blog has been a bit neglected. I do have a year in review post that I started and I'm hoping I'll be able to finish while it is still relevant.

Christmas Eve we spent with my in laws. It is nice having both families so close because we can see everybody over the holidays. There was lots to eat and lots of presents to open. The girls slept through their first round of opening presents, all that adoration is exhausting!



Christmas was spent with my family. We ate more food and opened more presents. L slept through the festivities but S hates to miss out on anything and spent time circulating the room helping everyone open their presents.







making growl faces with Aunt E


The girls were spoiled and got lots of fun new toys and outfits. Their big present from Santa was an exersaucer. S is already having a good time with it since she is better at sitting up relatively unassisted. She doesn't spend a lot of time in it, mostly a few minutes here and there when I think it would be fun. They got a stroller (it was my present too!) from Grandma and Grandpa, and high chairs, a bunch of small toys and outfits in 6m from Nana and PopPop. They got outfits from their uncle and aunt and toys from their other aunt. It was all very exciting and exhausting.



On the 27th the girls were baptized. My husband's whole family came, even 2 relatives from California, plus one of my aunts and her family and my grandmother. It was quiet the circus but lots of fun to see everyone. We were glad so many people could make it to see the girls. It was a big production getting two babies dressed in their gowns and undressed and baptized and then hauling all their "stuff" from location to location. I guess that is all part of the joy of having two infants.

our family


L being baptized


S being baptized (she cried through the whole ceremony)


L in the lace dress my aunt hand knit (they were beautiful)


S in dress

How it Happened

My husband and I found out we were expecting January 17, 2009 (three days before Obama was inaugurated- it was a big deal in DC). We told our families on January 19 because we were too excited to keep it a secret. I saw my doctor at the very end of January and found out I was having twins at the beginning of Feb., 6 weeks into the pregnancy.

The day started off like any other. We went to work, I felt queasy and had some pain on the right side of my stomach. I called the doctor after I freaked myself out googling pregnancy and stomach pain. The doctor called me back immediately and had me come in right away, so I begged people to cover my class and left school in the middle of the day. The doctor examined me and said things looked ok but she wanted me to get and ultrasound to rule out an ectopic pregnancy.

I was thrilled. I would get to see my baby! It didn't really cross my mind that something would be wrong even though I had worried about it all morning. As I sat in the waiting room (because I had to down three glasses of water) I let my mind wander. I remember thinking "wouldn't it be funny if it was twins?" Then I thought "there is no way it could be twins."

I am finally called back and they begin the ultrasound. The tech is really quiet but I can see the picture on a TV screen. She looks at a few of my parts and then focuses on these two little D shaped black spots with little white dots in them. While she is doing this I'm thinking what is she looking at. She flips the screen to my medical information and where it says "fetus(es)" she changes 1 to 2. I'm thinking what the hell is going on, there is no way I'm having two. That can't mean what I think it does.

When she flipped back to the ultrasound she started labeling the little Ds "A" and "B". And I'm thinking No freaking way. She still has not said anything to me. I finally get up the nerve and ask "why is there an A and a B." She hesitates and says "well I'm seeing two fetuses." Then she asks me to hold my breath so she can try and get a heart beat as I am hyperventilating. I don't remember much of the exam after that.

She let me leave but made me wait because she wanted the doctor to take a look before I left. I go out into the waiting room and call my husband. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went but something like this (he knew I went to the doctor and was having an ultrasound):
Me-well everything looks good but umm we're having twins.
Him-Are you serious?
Me-Yes, what are we going to do? we can't afford twins (freaking out continues).
Him- Now I have a quarterback and a linebacker
Me- What?
Him- (he laughs) I can't believe it's two. Don't worry it will be ok.

Alright I was so worried about telling him because I thought he would freak out and he was fine. Although he did tell me later that when I told him he stopped in the middle of the street in downtown DC and was almost hit by a car.

When the doctor release me I called my OB and then went across the street to my mother's school. I showed up in her door way and told her as she was teaching class. She looked at me for a minute and then said "that's not funny Doris" (my grandmother who passed away 3 years ago). After school she took me to Barnes and Noble and we bought every book there was about twins. I continued to freak out about affording them and keeping them safe.

It was certainly one of the most monumental days of my life.


37+ weeks