Lily vs the Potty Seat

So a funny thing happened at Babies R' Us. That's totally how all good mommy stories start right. Anyway I decided to go to BRU so I could buy the toddler bed attachment for our convertable cribs. I'm not ready to put the girls in toddler beds but our neighbors 21 month old son just started climbing out of his crib and it takes 10-12 weeks for the special order side rails to come in the mail. So I decided to order them early and be ready for when the girls start climbing out, since Sophie already climbs out of the pack and play.

Any way, we're at BRU and I'm shopping with the girls in the cart buying pacifiers and sippy cups. I stopped and picked up two potty chairs since I had a $3 coupon and you know be prepared even though we aren't ready to start potty training either. The girls are bickering in the cart and getting impatient. I head to the crib section and Lily is playing with the potty seat. As I pull up to the counter she is wearing the seat on her head like a hat and making Sophie giggle. I don't pay much attention because at least they are behaving. I start talking to the salesman and next thing I know Lily has the potty seat around her neck.

Lily begins to cry saying "I stuck." The sales guy watches as I try to squeeze her out and begin to realize nope she is really stuck. I am in Babies R Us with a screaming child with a potty seat stuck on her head. What am I going to do? The guy gets a manager and I calm Lily down. Any way the manager gets baby oil and we manage to squeeze her out. It was rather traumatizing for Lily and very funny and embarassing for mama. I mean really whose child does that? So thank you to the lovely employees at Babies R Us, and I did manage to order the toddler rails (and we bought the potty seat, hopefully she will use it one day).

The Crap You Need on Hand for Child Rearing

I know a lot of people who are currently pregnant or brand new parents. So I have decided to put together a list of must haves for new parents.

1. A screw driver
Seriously everything the baby needs has to be put together. J and I got in more fights cusing over how to put together the crib then we did in our first year of marriage (which they say is the hardest which is total crap. The hardest year on a marriage is the first year of your first child's life. A if you were wondering our marriage has survived- at least so far, I don't think J is ready to move out yet :-) You need a freaking screw driver just to put new batteries in the swing, which sucks when the swing is the only thing that will get your child to take a nap and it dies and you have to leave the screaming baby to run downstairs and dig the screw driver out of your husband's tool box. Then you have to dig the batteries out of the drawer in the kitchen or maybe they are in the tool box too. All the while the baby is screaming.

2. Batteries
We had the worst snow storms ever this year and in Virginia when you are supposed to get a blizzard people freak the F out. They run and buy toilet paper and milk and eggs. I ran to the grocery store and stood in line for hours to get none of those (they were already out) not diapers or formula but batteries because god forbid that we ran out of batteries. You need them for everything. Every toy, the swing, the bouncy chair, everything. We took batteries out of remotes even, and if you knew J that is a big freaking deal.

3. Ear plugs
At around 5 every day the baby will most likely scream it's head off for no reason. It's a scientific fact. Mommy's even have a special name for it- the witching hour. These will also come in handy when your child is old enough to do cry it out, if you so choose- we did. It's the only way S would go to sleep, sue us. A tv and bad reality shows also work, just crank it up- in the basement, two floors below your screaming child (only if they are safely in their crib :-) although I do know a mom that took her not yet moving on their own child down to the basement and let him sleep on the floor on a blanket with no monitor because it was the only way he and everyone else in their house would sleep- I say do what you have to, so long as the child is safe. (promise it wasn't me)

4. baby jail, or a playpen
Because really sometimes mommy just has to pee.

5. card board box
When they are old enough this will provide limitless amounts of entertainment. We have every toy available for children under 12 months and some sort of card board container (including a 6 pack beer holder) is way more entertaining then the $20 music table.


I'm sure I will have more of these fantastic tidbits as my girls continue to educate me in all that is toddlerness.

For Mama's Sanity

My Darling Children,
For Mommy to maintain her sanity she needs the following:

1. To be able to pee in peace and not with children clinging to the gate two feet away screaming their heads.
2. For you to play nicely and not pull each others' hair, stand on each other, pull each other down, or smack each other.
3. For 10 seconds without someone climbing on me, I love you and I love to snuggle but sometimes mommy needs a little space.
4. For all my hair to remain on my head. I know you are learning to stand on your own but when you lose your balance could you grab my shirt or arm and not my hair that you pull out of my head in chunks.
5. For you to sleep past 5 am.